Parents on a Budget

Lately, the topic of conversation with parents always seems to involve rising prices, stagnant wages and feelings of powerlessness. Parents are searching for help while battling relentless bills. There are countless articles about financial hardships, but each one seems to refer to a 401k or other retirement plan. In reality, if you had the luxury of a retirement plan or any large cushion of savings, you would not need financial help. Somehow, society has given us the impression that retirement plans are standard issue when they are not.

The war against financial failure is fought in the trenches, with people struggling day by day to stay in their homes, feed their children and stay healthy. Politicians may promise aid, but they are only skating above the ice as they watch the rest of us fighting for the limited air pockets beneath the surface. Parents have even more trouble because they carry the weight of family survival.

There are a few ways to manage a slim budget, cutting corners where you can and still come out even at the end of the month. Bear in mind that making necessary changes in your lifestyle will have a ripple effect. As long as you stay aware of this fact, you will be more prepared to handle the situations and emotions that may arise.

Involve the whole family. Although the children shouldn’t know the financial details, it will help them to talk about the changes that need to be made, because it directly affects them. Each member of the family may experience emotional reactions, depending on how old they are and how much of life is altered. Anger, guilt, embarrassment and fear are strong emotions which may take turns bubbling up while the family makes changes based on budget. The key to managing emotions is to recognize them as they emerge and discuss it. Keeping it on-the-table brings the issues out, reducing the overwhelming effects of internalizing emotions.

Use coupons when you shop. The newspaper and internet are wonderful sources for coupons and sales. You can still enjoy brand name items and pay less. Manufacturers offer coupons to coordinate with upcoming store sales. If you watch the ads, you can save $ $ every time you shop. Read the labels of your favorite brands to find their website. Some offer coupons if you sign up for email offers. You can set up a free email account (yahoo.com or gmail.com) just for this purpose and do not need to use your personal email address. Some good online sources for coupons and free samples are couponmom.com, coupons.com and smartsource.com. Scouting out coupons, free samples and sales are a fun family activity for those who love games and adventures.

Take advantage of government assistance. There is no shame in asking for help. No doubt, your taxes have helped someone else; now it is your turn. There are programs that will help with heating your home, telephone services and more, depending on your income. This information can be accessed through your local gas/electric supplier or the County Assistance Office where you live.

Use the internet when you shop. There are several ways to make money when you shop over the internet. Upromise.com offers a percentage of your cost when you shop at the stores on their site. This percentage goes directly into a college fund or to your existing student loans. Some credit cards (such as Discover and Citibank) currently offer reward points to exchange for credit towards your balance or another purchase. Spending money on necessities can actually be financially rewarding. If you discount spending with a sale and free shipping, you really save.

Re-evaluate necessities. Make a list of your monthly payments and look closely. Start with your biggest bills. Besides the mortgage/rent, most people pay lots for phone and television. Call each company and ask how you can reduce your monthly payment. Make the first call a fact-finding mission. You do not need to commit to anything they offer. Just ask for a lower rate and the details, keeping in mind that there are tiers of rates for service. Your job is to collect information, then compare it with other offers you have researched. These companies are in competition for your commitment, so you have all the power here. You can find great rates with reliable companies if you do the legwork. Remember to check the Better Business Bureau for consumer ratings (bbb.org).

Help with home heating oil. This monthly bill is another huge budget buster. Call your heating oil company and ask if there is an assistance plan within the company. Some of the larger ones offer this, but the small local companies may not be able to. One of the best kept secrets in large cities and the surrounding suburbs is an Energy Cooperative. When you join (some are less than $ 10/yr), you receive discounted oil and services from area suppliers.

Eliminate activities that cost money. Some areas are rich with offerings that cost nothing. Local parks, schools, townships, libraries and counties offer events you can find listed in free publications that are found in supermarkets and libraries or online. Keep in mind that almost every activity in which we engage can be done for free, allowing for modifications. If the budget permits, each child can choose only one fee-based activity. (Realistically, no matter what your income, maintaining the only-one principle keeps overindulgence in check.)

Talk about it. In a healthy society, there is nothing more devastating than isolation. Suffering through this rough patch alone is not the way to go. There are so many of us learning to re-define our lives that we can easily find reliable support. Once you connect with others in the same boat, the burden is considerably lifted. Then it actually becomes fun (who knew?) when you brainstorm budget ideas and share experiences. It makes for success that builds upon success.

The life lessons are irreplaceable. Besides the obvious lessons concerning money management, weathering this storm may provide your children with more than we can name. Resourcefulness and creativity can result from learning to reframe the difficulties. Viewing each situation as an opportunity instead of failure may help them move from a sense of victimization to a sense of control. Embarrassment can lead to the understanding that humility is not the same as humiliation. And involving the whole family in the solution may result in reducing the sense of entitlement, providing room for gratitude and grace.

Sharon Cuff, MA is located in Newtown Square, PA. For over 25 years she has worked with parents and children of all ages, stages and abilities, guiding them to resilience. Call for an appointment at 484-437-0080 and visit her website at http://ift.tt/1z53ZZL.

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